“Everyone Is Laughing At You, Talking About You, That Kind Of Feeling You Get ….Like You’re An Alien”


So up till O levels I was the cool kid, everything was normal. I was good in studies and everything. Then when I stepped into college life, everything changed. Like completely. Too many friends, going out to play snooker, coming home late and hardly ever studying. I had become very spoiled..

Then my friends betrayed me and started taking advantage of me, started using me for my money etc. After I realized that, I just stayed mostly at home, I was very disappointed. So I ignored almost everyone. Even myself. From then it was just me, Salah ( prayer) and my room. I even grew a beard, didn’t shave for a very long time. Like can you imagine a guy who had a thousand friends just locked himself in a room? But I had tried everyone and I had seen everything.

So one day I was in my bed crying with the blanket covering me. Mama saw me, sat down and hugged me. She said “ Befriend Allah , pray to Him and everything will be alright”. It was nice, the feeling, like you don’t talk to anyone but you know someone is listening. You don’t see anyone, but you know someone is there. It’s very peaceful. I became very relaxed. It was like I had found a friend. In between all of this I tried to smoke, but trust me the first cigarette I smoked made me vomit and I never touched it again.
But after that I picked myself back up, prayed, studied and got back on track. So now I just keep to myself, spending most of my free time in my room, focusing on myself and my goals of becoming a doctor and helping others rather than wasting my time and peace of mind on those who aren’t true to me..
Try to live a simple life, but don’t try to please everyone. Just find the true you and stick to it. Let society judge you because that’s the only thing it can do. Set your aims, try to stick to them and never give up.

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